What is the difference between stress and distress? How do we cope with all the challenges of life? How is stress a beneficial mechanism to us and our family?
We have all experienced the stress of life, but sometimes stress isn't a bad thing rather it is important and good for us to have stress because it pushes and motivates us to do better. When I got married to my husband and moved in to our apartment it was a huge stress and felt overwhelming to do all the things in preparation for our marriage. Although it was a stress, it was needed and helped us to get the necessary things done. Just like when we feel stressed with our homework, dishes, laundry, etc. I get stressed with the daily tasks of life a lot and sometimes get headaches and have to put stress relief lotion on. It just feels like pressure on my head when I procrastinate to do my homework or to do housework, but I know it has to be done so when I do it the stress usually goes away. These are positive stressors and help the family be motivated in getting things done and pressures us to accomplish our goals. On the other hand, distress is usually caused by an event of some sort and experienced with pain that requires help such as counseling or moral support is needed whether a death in the family, Injury,being abused, etc. When my grandma passed away 2 years ago, it was really hard and I felt pain and missed her because we were really close and was a distress, but it was cool to see the family come together and help each other out during this difficult time. I feel like stress and some distress are a good thing that helps us to cope with it and reach out for help from others, bringing the family closer together when going through hardships, but too much stress can cause health, emotional and physical problems especially when the stressor is caused by self inflicted pain. The brain believes everything you think, so if you tell yourself negative thoughts you are going to be depressed or if you keep worrying about future events that will happen you will probably cause yourself to have anxiety. That's why I think that its important to tell yourself positive affirmations and think positively. Coping means to invest own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict. There are different ways people cope with stress and distress such as humor, seeking support, denial and just trying to ignore it which actually makes it worse, relaxation, venting, self blame, physical recreation and so forth. Everyone has a different way of coping with problems that works for them. The most important thing I think is to talk and communicate with family members and reach out for help or someone you trust to talk to. Im so thankful that when my grandma passed away that I had so many people to talk to about it in my life and hug to help relieve the pain.
My husband and I are currently feeling stressed financially with the payments of rent, food, and bills. We are working through it and coping by working hard and budgeting wisely together. My husband works as a mechanic and is doing his best, I work as much as I can to help bring in financial support and we both work for our apartment complex doing the earlier morning snow crew. I think that as we work hard and do something to help solve the problem at hand it reduces our stress and helps us cope with financial decisions. I feel like this stress and challenge of not having a lot of money not only helps us budget better and talk it out, but also brings us closer together and strengthens our marriage. Its a good stress. Its like the fight or flight, we can either decide to run from our problems of face them. Everyone has stressors i life, but it depends on how you cope with them that is important to help relieve them.
